Something broke inside me. I asked the only question I could: “Did he love you?”
“I thought he did,” she said softly, “but now I’m not even sure who he really was.”
I left without meeting the baby. Back in my car, I screamed until my throat tore. Later that night, I combed through his laptop. The truth was worse: another bank account, photos from trips with Liana and the child, emails with a realtor, even a draft will naming her as his contact.
Two days later, I called her. We met at a diner. Noor banged a spoon in her high chair while Liana muttered, “He told me you were cold, controlling… that you never wanted kids.”
I laughed bitterly. “I had two miscarriages. He said it wasn’t meant to be.”
For an hour, we compared notes—holidays, favorite songs, even foods. He told me he hated oysters. Told her he loved them. Said his mother was dead. Told her she was alive. Neither of us knew which version was true.
That weekend, a lawyer called: my husband had named me sole beneficiary on a life insurance policy—nearly $300,000. I considered rejecting it, but when I remembered Liana’s broken car and trembling hands, I split it with her quietly.
A month later, sitting on the porch with my brother Faris, I admitted, “I think I hated who I was with him. I didn’t even realize it.”
“You’re not crazy,” he said. “You’re just not the woman he thought he could control forever. Be someone else now.”
So I tried. Therapy. A book club. Long bike rides by the reservoir. Slowly, I reclaimed my life.
Six months later, Liana sent me a photo of Noor dressed as a bumblebee. The caption read: “She said your name today. Just ‘Mara.’ I thought you’d want to know.”
I cried for a long time.
Here’s what I’ve learned: people carry layers, sometimes so many that you never see the core until it’s too late. Grief isn’t only about death—it’s also about realizing the person you loved never truly existed. But healing is possible. You can build yourself back, piece by piece.
